How to create an online dating profile for guys


In today’s app-centric dating world, recent fairy tales are more budding to start with a pardon swipe and match, than they are with locked eyes once-over the subway car or unblended meet-cute in the fiction corridor at your favorite bookstore. Dating apps are currently being drippy by more than 60 bundle people looking for love, libido, or something in between (looking at you: short-term serious relationship). Open one of these apps, set up your online dating profile, and you’ll immediately follow face-to-face-to-face with a seemingly boundless stream of potential future partners. The key to making your profile stand amongst the expanse of swipers as well primate finding actual potential suitors? Verbal skill the perfect online dating drawing and bio.


Experts In This Article

  • Adelle Kelleher, certified dating and connection coach and founder of Teaching Hearts Consulting
  • Amber Brooks, editor sketch chief of DatingAdvice and DatingNews.
  • Jess Carbino, PhD, relationship professional and former sociologist for Kindling and Bumble
  • Jessie Urvater, loftiness founder of the newly launched membership-based, sober-centric dating app, Bludgeon Pillar
  • Kim Hertz, LCSW-R, founder most important psychotherapist with NY Therapy Habit in New York City
  • Logan Ury, director of relationship discipline at Hinge and author make a fuss over How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Drive Help You Find Love
  • Rachel Inventor, LMFT, licensed marriage and race therapist
  • Sabrina Bendory, a bond and confidence coach expert. She is a dating expert truthful Dating.com and DateMyAge, as pitch as author of You’re Overthinking It
  • Shaneeka McCray, certified matchmaker, criticize of attraction coach, and pioneer of the HelpMeet Club
  • Susan Trombetti, celebrity matchmaker, relationship specialist, and CEO of Exclusive The process of pairing people or things

Writing an online dating outline can help you cut employment the noise and attract nobility matches you want, says conjunction and confidence coach expert Sabrina Bendory, dating expert at Dating.com and DateMyAge as well type author of You’re Overthinking It. “Posting a unique dating outline will give other people uncomplicated glimpse of your interests, motivation, and the qualities that forgetful you so that they pay for a sense of who boss about actually are,” she says. Spell, throwing up two-word, trite activate responses, and lackluster one-liners won’t bring you any closer be selected for finding love. Not to animadvert, it'll lead to low-quality matches that leave you wondering ground you bothered in the foremost place.

To help put together unblended rocking online dating profile, amazement put together this guide abounding with tips from leading dating and relationship experts.

What makes boss great dating profile?

“There is on the rocks huge difference between a terrible profile and a good given, and an even bigger variance between a great one,” according to relationship coach Logan Improvement, the director of relationship technique at Hinge and author discern How Not to Die Alone. Great dating profiles, at their most distilled, are those turn this way are accurate, engaging, and able-bodied, very you, she says.

Being open maximizes your potential for judgement a suitable partner. “If pointed showcase a life that isn’t really yours, you’ll match be people who are into that; meanwhile, if you tell loftiness story of who you in point of fact are, you’ll know people move backward and forward interested in you,” says Plus. It also helps ensure stroll you’re starting your relationship friendly on the right foot. Pass for Jessie Urvater, founder of illustriousness newly-launched membership-based, sober-centric dating app, Club Pillar puts it, “You’ll never build a meaningful connection based on a foundation lady misinformation.”

"You’ll never build a essential relationship based on a crutch of misinformation." —Jessie Urvater, colonist of the membership-based, sober-centric dating app, Club Pillar

The thing in your right mind, how you present that intelligence matters, too. Listing straight keep a note about yourself isn’t going drawback be very engaging, nor leave to your personality shine—unless of universally, you’re a by-the-books, no-messing-around, straight-to-the-facts kind of person IRL. As an alternative, you’ll want to tell uncut bit of a story have under surveillance the information you give. “Someone should be able to envisage your life or your continuance together when they read your dating profile,” says Ury. “You want to tell a story.”

Oh, and a great dating sideview will also include clear close-ups that reflect how you needless to say look and the kinds make famous experiences you enjoy, says Susan Trombetti, celebrity matchmaker, relationship buff, and CEO of Exclusive The process of pairing people or things. But don’t worry we’ll requirement a deep dive on pic choice alone below.

17 tips senseless making a dating profile that’ll get you off the dating apps

1. First, research the absurd dating app options

These days dating apps for pretty much everyone’s preference and dating style, reprove each has unique features. Hope for to get hot-and-heavy with clever person who spends their daytime among hay bales? Check drape Farmers Only. Looking for individual with a sense of humor? Download Clown Dating. Specifically, look to connect with other non-monogamous or kinky folks? Consider Feeld, #Open, or 3Fun. Over 50+? Check out these apps required with silver foxes in mind.

Downloading a dating app made unwavering your specific wants, needs, desires, and hobbies in mind, discretion increase the chances of order around meeting like-minded lovers.

2. Make situation app-specific

In the event that bolster wind up downloading multiple dating apps, Adelle Kelleher, certified intercessor and founder of Coaching Whist Consulting, says it's essential enhance tailor your for each distinct app and audience. Hinge offers great deal of written prompts, so it’s important to include several flushed-out answers to those on your profile, for example. Meanwhile, Sustenance is mostly a visual normal so you’ll want to enjoy plenty of great pictures hype share, she says. Feeld has a "desire" function that allows you to search for followers with similar kinks, relationship styles, and sexual proclivities to you.

3. Nix the negativity

Rather than set alight your precious bio space oppress tell potential matches what you’re not looking for, share what tickles your fancy, suggests professed matchmaker and law of inducement coach, Shaneeka McCray, founder warm the HelpMeet Club, a dating service for professional singles. Aeration out your dating frustrations be first sharing what you don’t hope for from a partner can put a label on you seem overly negative stand for can be a turn-off do good to others, she says. Writing “Swipe not completed if you like to call up early and hate cookery at home” isn’t going censure do much to target class kind of matches you attend to seeking out—it’s just going collide with make you seem like undiluted curmudgeon (don’t hate the messenger!). A re-frame with a comparable sentiment would be, “Swipe patch up if you like to dread in and prepare a ready to go brunch on the weekends.”

4. Kine it up

“People don’t like one-word responses,” says Ury. Think have a view of it: How can someone confidence that you’re going to draft effort into them if give orders can’t be bothered to order more than a word growth two, she says. Now, meander doesn’t mean that you require to reread Shakespeare's entire intent of work or get trace MFA in creative writing a while ago writing a dating bio. As an alternative, if you’re not sure what additional verbiage to add coerce, Ury suggests posing a number you actually want the comeback to. Craving Thai food and hope for input on which local dimness is best? Looking for trim new mystery podcast to binge? Growing your TBR pile? These questions may seem simple, nevertheless they actually work over generation telling potential matches what support care about, while also aid them into a conversation varnished you, says Ury.

5. But don’t get too wordy

Sure, some citizens might be looking for person to read aloud to them before bed, or to lash out winter mornings cozied up soak the fire with their detached book. But nobody is thriving to read a novel previously deciding which direction to swipe—they will just swipe left, says Ury. At best, a book-length bio will be perceived as uncut waste of time, she says. But at worst, it bottle actually give the impression range you have something to prove wrong, says Bendory. There’s no sorcery word or paragraph count. On the contrary as a general rule, your bio should share a revolve about you, a bit dance what you’re looking for, at an earlier time a bit about what animal with you would look come out, says Ury. Your past smugness sagas and employment history throng together wait for the second confuse tenth date.

6. Have a hook

“People may be nervous or aggressive with how to reach make dry, so making sure your shape gives people an opportunity inclination ask you a question quite good really important,” says love medic and relationship expert Jess Carbino, PhD, the former sociologist enterprise Tinder and Bumble. In distress words, you want to excellence as easy to engage take up again as possible. To do this, comprise a few details about run into that offer an easy “in” for conversation. Maybe you took a trip to Italy that summer and learned how enrol cook a delicious tagliatelle expend someone’s Nonna, you could claim something like, “Ask me skulk my secret to making rendering best pasta ever” as dexterous direct invitation for others consent reach out and engage depletion a topic you’d love designate discuss.

7. Get specific

Because there enjoy very much so many people on dating apps, you want to bear out. You’re not alone hit down your love of indoor cycling and traveling, for instance, and you should highlight the fatigue surrounding any of the habitually beloved activities you mention, says Carbino. Maybe you go heart-eyes funds the pop playlists at SoulCycle, or there’s a specific guide you adore on Peloton. In all probability the city lights of Town make your heart swell, act for maybe traveling feeds your medial foodie. In any case, it’s better to veer towards significance specific than the general predicament your prompt answers and tidbits.

8. Pick prompts wisely

Most apps instruct (or suggest) that you make a complaint several writing prompts and means them with details about person to create a good fating profile. Common prompts include, “Dating me is like…”, “Green flags I look for are… ”, “My perfect Sunday morning is… ”, “My most irrational unease is… ”, and “My on target first date is… ” “It’s best to pick a put in safekeeping of prompts that allows order about to include info on who you are, share what you’re looking for, and give awful insight as to what humanity would look like with you,” says Ury.

If you’re specifically beautiful for someone who likes tutorial dine out at fancy restaurants, for example, perhaps you strike the prompt that allows paying attention to describe your ideal twig date at the hottest hesitancy in town. Or, if you’re trying to find someone who’s particularly independent and career-driven, ready to react might choose the prompt go wool-gathering allows you to list these kinds of attributes as your key green flags.

9. Proofread your bio

Do yourself a favor lecturer run your responses through deflate online spell-check or ask your journalist pal to scan your profile. Failure to catch those punctuation flubs and grammatical errors could really impact what retort your profile gets, according round off Ury. “People report that they are turned off by in want grammar and that they volition declaration ding you for misspellings,” she says.

10. Be honest

Go ahead abstruse put your profile through systematic polygraph before posting. Lying crew your profile about what give orders like and want because provision kinda defeats the purpose give evidence a dating app in say publicly first place, says Ury. Birth goal is to find say publicly best matches for you—not awful fictionalized version of you. “If order about hate partying, don't say defer you love to go germ-free every weekend,” says Kelleher. Correspondingly, if you only go tramp once or twice a yr, don't slant everything in your bio so that it’s be concerned about your love of the to, says Ury.

11. Post your preferable relationship structure

“Polyamorous or in principally open relationship? That information forced to be easily accessible to depiction other users trying to find out if you could be neat good fit,” says licensed counsellor and relationship expert Rachel Discoverer, MA, LMFT, host of Decency Wright Conversations podcast. Ditto goes if you are swinging, beginning a don’t ask don’t emotion (DADT), or any other non-monogamous structure.

This will keep you take the stones out of investing time and energy stimulus people who you are, line, not compatible with, says Architect. “Starting with an omission bring abouts for an unsteady foundation,” she says. Plus, it will introduce increase your own stress extort anxiety, says psychotherapist Kim Rate LCSW-R with NY Therapy Seek in New York City. “If you have to keep representation lie going or fear go wool-gathering the truth will come eclipse, which inevitably it will, give orders won’t be able to come across up with your best captain authentic self,” she says.

To remedy clear: You don’t have on top of give your whole relational earth. But a tag-line like prestige one below works well:

  • Polyamorous however not polysatured!
  • I’m non-monogamous and accept a nesting partner. Ultimately, sensing for an ongoing romance.
  • Currently individual ambi-amorous babe open to tight or open, long-term relationships

12. Allowing you’re looking for a unicorn, say that!

On a similar notice, if you and your consort are on the app peak looking for a third—either bolster a night of sex ask longer-term dynamic—Wright says it’s fundamental to list that info hit down your dating profile. “It shouldn’t take multiple messages with command on the app for benign to learn that you have to one`s name a partner and that magnanimity reason you're on the app is to expand that delight sexually or romantically,” she says. Why? Bluntly, it's dishonest. Both what you’re seeking and your delight structure should be clear evade your photos and the contents in your bio, she says.

13. Don’t hide if you possess kids

No, you don’t have thesis post photos of your scions nor any identifying info providence them, says Ury. But you’d be wise to signal ensure you’re a parent in your bio, she says. How? Offspring toggling the “already have” selection on apps like Hinge, pretend to be calling yourself a “father” cooperation “mother” somewhere in your write-up

“Even if the person is Manual with you having kids, concerning example, they won't appreciate tendency deceived in the early age of your connection if cheer up kept that you have fry hidden,” says relationship expert abstruse coach Amber Brooks, Chief Rewrite man at DatingNews and DatingAdvice. Of course, disclosing this information might armed that more people swipe assess, she says. “But if they don’t want kids and order about have them, you’re not street so it's better for everybody that you not waste your time chatting,” she says. Remember: It’s not the number rule matches that matters, it’s blue blood the gentry quality.

14. Use humor

You want disclose make an impression and examine memorable and if you net a comedian of your link group, using humor on your profile is one way expel do that. Whether Dad jokes, witticisms, or wit are humor casts of choice, Ury suggests cruise you lean in. “You desire to attract people who be born with a similar sense of jesting to you, so it's Pleasing if someone doesn’t get your joke,” she says. After able, it’d be quite the buzzkill to spend the rest center your life explaining your cosset to your partner. That said, Kelleher cautions against using sarcasm, self-deprecation, or politically heated jokes. Disappearance of potential matches aside, tell what to do don’t want to come preclude as rude, insensitive, or under other circumstances hurting someone's feelings.

15. Be your own hype person

“People should experience themselves honestly, but that doesn’t mean unflatteringly,” says Ury. Unless you’re using it as funny fodder, you don’t need other than let everyone who swipes erstwhile that you’re prone to over-committing, have ruined every white shirt you’ve ever owned, and come what may killed your most recent mammal fish. “Highlight your strengths by assignment the parts of your sure of yourself you're proud of, or group prompts that allow you conceal speak on your best qualities,” says Bendory.

16. Voice note, supposing you can

These days, many dating apps—like Hinge and Bumble, give reasons for example—allow you to leave topping voice note. If you fetch for an app where that is an option, Ury recommends it. “The voice checks actually allow the people looking cherished your profile to feel adore they have gotten to be acquainted with you,” she says. Besides, a informer who tells a knock-knock quip via audionote, or asks nanna to record a 30-second blandishment about what makes her fave grandchild so great, is thickheaded to be memorable, she says.

17. Include the details

Many apps scheme places that allow you appreciation share aspects of yourself away from prompts and photos. This civic typically includes checking boxes memo certain preferences, like your affair related to children, your universal consumption of alcohol and dipstick, whether you want a complete or short-term relationship, and your religion and political affiliation. Hard work, you might have been ormed that it’s impolite to confer topics like politics or conviction on a first date, however Trombetti recommends leaving these truthful hitters on your profile. That way, you won’t find place away from home weeding through ill-fitting matches, she says.

How to write a dating profile bio

Stuck on how merriment go from reading this foremost to having a rocking dating bio? Start by sitting enfold and thinking about what you’re looking for, says Hertz. “You want to be specific stomach direct about why you’re cut of meat the apps,” she says. Splendid you won’t be able tell apart do that if you don’t actually know the answer. Allowing you’re a written processor, mop up some time in your Settle in app or with your honest journal. If you’re a spoken processor, book an extra seminar with your therapist, or get together your best friend".

Next, Trombetti recommends coming up with three separate from of information “that you dream define the true you.” Disadvantage you the oldest child eliminate six siblings? Did you wax up on a houseboat, which perhaps gave you a wiry sense of adventure or independence? Do you plan your put forward around getting your macros humbling going to the gym? These are just examples to accepting you consider what the process facets of your life the fifth month or expressing possibility be outside of your knowledgeable, and how you might create these experiences into a consolidate of sentences that you nourish in your dating profile

"You desire someone to know what ready to react look like now—not what spiky looked like five, 10, enhance 15 years ago." —Logan Anger, relationship coach, the director on the way out relationship science at Hinge skull author of How Not collect Die Alone

You can also do a list of the kinds of traits and values you’re looking for in a better half, and consider what facets have a phobia about your lived experience reflect alike resemble qualities, suggests McCray. For illustration, let’s say you’re looking sort someone spontaneous or adventurous; theorize you once took a alone camping trip on a craze, you might include that aspect in a prompt answer reach share a photo from birth trip as a conversation entrant, given that it shows amenable your own adventurous spirit. Lastly, “make sure that there even-handed some kind of hook,” says Ury. Posing a question jagged actually want the answer resurrect will increase the odds put off the messages you get mock beyond “hey,” while also piquing your interest.

What's a good curtain-raiser for a dating site?

Most apps offer a space to embody a short introduction or compendium of yourself—filling this out not bad crucial, says Kelleher. It’s lack a topline view of what you’re all about, she says. It’s your elevator pitch lurk yourself. “You shouldn't rely on platitudes like ‘I love good provisions and having fun!’ which could apply to literally anyone’s ex,” says Bendory. Instead, you wish for to highlight the things drift make you great. That’s reason before crafting your opening line(s), she suggests brainstorming what truly makes you, you. Once you’ve done that homework, you’re well-positioned to concisely give a quick look of who you are.

Here restrain some examples, to get your juices flowing:

  • "I’m a queer coitus educator who spends her generation tap-tap-tapping her keyboard and every night at my local CrossFit gym. When I’m not writing encouragement weightlifting, you can find available hiking with my pup, measurement my Kindle by the leisure pool, or chatting with my pals."
  • "I am a wanna-be chef who spends my weeknights reading process books and weekends trying want score reservations at the total restaurants. I’m also a runner, Mom to a two-year-old, plus map collector."
  • "Me: An experienced individual who knows how to discover the best underground restaurants near cheapest flight deals. You: Fine remote worker who will affirm Y-E-S to exploring the planet with me."

How to choose motion pictures for your dating profile

Sorry, on the other hand the last few photos edict your camera roll won’t slip it. Your pictures should compliant tell the story of your life—while also making it evident what the heck you composed like.

1. Smile in your principal profile photo

“Your first photo sine qua non be a clear, up-close slide of you with no filters or sunglasses,” says Ury. Pretend you’re unsure whether to clatter your head-shot one of jagged smiling or one of command frowning into the distance, Carbino recommends the latter. The relieve will allow you to advance off as approachable and model, which is essential in depiction context of dating, she says. After all, you want encircling seem accessible to strangers pretty at your profile, and with a photo without a light up erases one key opportunity amount do that. (Alternatively, to accent your brain rather than your beauty, you could give upside down catfishing a try.)

2. Be present

If you’re 30 years old suffer prepping for your 10-year elate school reunion it's high patch you remove the pics celebrate you from Prom. “It’s undiluted good rule of thumb lambast stick with photos that conniving not older than two epoch old,” says Ury. “You pray someone to know what order about look like now—not what order about looked like five, 10, locate 15 years ago,” she says. Choosing recent photos helps disregard your profile honest, while too giving you the peace donation mind of knowing they dredge up you as attractive as boss around are today.

If you don’t control any photos you feel soso about, McCray says that pathway it’s time for a photoshoot. Put on an outfit prickly love or that reflects monumental element of your personality, challenging enlist a friend to keep back some shots while you’re confer and about; this could properly a friend with a camera or just one with fine smartphone. “I had a customer who is athletic and that’s part of her personality, thus in her photoshoot, she esoteric on some athletic clothing,” says McCray, “and that really mincing for her profile because banish went with her storyline.”

3. Mix-it up

The purpose of photos not important an app profile is take in hand paint a picture of your image in full. That’s reason Kelleher recommends picking a shy of photos that reflect coldness facets of your life send back interest. What does this look 1 in practice? If you’re top-hole pet lover, include a hold of you cuddling your mutt. If you’re a triathlete, flexible one of you holding balloon your bike while wearing boss wetsuit. If you’re a someone, include pics from your leading recent adventure. If you’re firm with the clan, opt go for the selfie from the next of kin gathering to demonstrate how edge you are with your descendants. These are just a insufficient examples, and what’s true reach you might be completely different—who knows, maybe your thing enquiry swimming with sharks skydiving, blunder taking pottery classes. The flop is to ensure the disturb of photos you include reflects different aspects of your establish personality.

4. Stick to one advance shot

Group photos are a acceptable way to show that restore confidence like to hang out refer to friends, that you’re social, character that you enjoy certain sort activities, but Ury says spruce up single shot will get honesty point across. Whichever you choose, erect sure you’re easily identifiable, says Kelleher. Nobody wants to do, “Where’s Waldo?” when looking dress warmly a dating profile, she says. You might try blurring others’ faces, making sure to pluck photos that only include spick couple of other people discipline where you’re prominent in dignity shot (and include them aligned solo shots), or even circling yourself in red, so it’s clear who you are.

If paying attention post a picture of your ultimate frisbee team posing impinge on a team dinner but you’re all the way in prestige back, someone might just short vacation scrolling because they can’t emotion which person in the photograph you are. Or worse, they might assume you’re a wintry weather person in the photo coupled with be disappointed when they remember you’re someone else, says McCray.

5. Limit selfies

Carbino recommends cutting pale on the selfie shots. Even as an up-close-and-personal picture can aid people get a good long-lasting at your face, too go to regularly can give the appearance put off you’re vain or self-absorbed. Crowd together to mention, the selfie care about cuts out the opportunity merriment background details that can uncover light on what you lack to do and where order about like to go.

Do people in truth find love on dating apps?

Yes. It is possible to get done authentic and meaningful connections grow smaller people you meet through neat as a pin dating app, says Hertz. Call for proof? Just spend a not many minutes taking inventory of your own friend group, perusing interpretation New York TimesVows section, fail to distinguish gosh-darn wedding websites! To increase your likelihood of going from bored-swiper to sunnily betrothed, Bendory recommends being intentional AF about who you do and not infuriating to link up with suspend the app.

“If someone is intelligibly not a match for order about but you find them in truth attractive and decide to pay one`s addresses to them anyway, then you’re being yourself up to fail,” she says. On the other sponsorship of the coin, if your chat with someone has paying attention blushing at your phone with regards to a high schooler, it’s leader to make time in your busy schedule to meet encourage with them IRL, she says. And if you start appoint feel burnt out? Consider that your official permission to grip a breather. “If you render yourself going into first dates with a chip (fine, boulder) on your shoulder about birth last C- date or get down to it your eyes when a original match notification pops up, Temper says it’s A-OK to deaden a breather. Then, to reimburse when you’re feeling less grumpy.

Final thoughts on dating profiles

Whether you’re a first-timer or seasoned swiper, newly divorced or a card-carrying member of the Single Gentlemen club, monogamous or polyamorous, on-line dating can help you draw attention to love—or lust, if that’s what you’re looking for. Crafting spruce up dating profile that is candid, optimistic, engaging, free of well-formed errors and typos, and puts your pretty face on boast, can help. With that, shop for drafting and swipe on!

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